Big Hof and I have cut short our trip due to the unexpected and sad loss of my mother Eunice Mary Gerken and are heading home. Mum never really got over the loss of Dad. Who only passed away in February and the loss of both parents in less than six months is tough.They will both be sadly missed and we dedicate this Blog to Mum's memory.
May she rest in Peace. With Much Love Mark & Paul
Wednesday 7 July 2010
Tuesday 6 July 2010
Hup, Holland, Hup!!
Capetown, Semi-final day! It should have been us according to our plan which only had one flaw!? Just not good enough. So with a spare day on our hands we hatched a plan! A wine tour seemed to fit the bill and boy did we drop lucky! Polite enquiries with our B&B land lady hit the jackpot! Her friend Margie did occasional personal guided tours and the day was set fair!!40yrs ago Margie was a babe!! Now she is a charming lady, an expert in wine and who drives a Mercedes-Benz. She giggled away when two middle aged guests climbed in the car and declared "we are all yours and no spitting!!" By the end of the tour we reckoned we'd done two bottles each, enjoyed a lovely meal and seen some lovely scenery. Back at the B&B we turned our bike around in quick order and headed into town! Holland 3 - 1 Uruguay. Hup, Holland, Hup!!
Monday 5 July 2010
England's secret summer camp exposed
The Leisure days are coming thick and fast. It's the semis and England aren't in 'em and so Big Hof and I continued with our Bafana-Bafana,cultural experience and headed for Robben Island, an un welcome home to Nelson Mandela for 18 years of his 27 years in captivity and that's when we stumbled across Lee Dixon and another bloke who looked familiar and who we eventually worked out to be Rob Lee. Lee Dixon was hiding behind his Oakley's
But when I challenged him with "it's no good hiding behind your Oakley's Lee, I know it's you and I know why you are here!? You are on a scouting mission for the BBC and you are thinking this would be a suitable place to lock the England squad up!?!" he laughed but didn't deny it!! Therefore in the words of the Sun Editor, it must be true, publish and be damned!! As further evidence to our expose, Henry Winter of the Daily Telegraph was also on the boat so if you read it in tomorrow's telegraph remember Big Hof & Gerks got there first!!
But when I challenged him with "it's no good hiding behind your Oakley's Lee, I know it's you and I know why you are here!? You are on a scouting mission for the BBC and you are thinking this would be a suitable place to lock the England squad up!?!" he laughed but didn't deny it!! Therefore in the words of the Sun Editor, it must be true, publish and be damned!! As further evidence to our expose, Henry Winter of the Daily Telegraph was also on the boat so if you read it in tomorrow's telegraph remember Big Hof & Gerks got there first!!
Moby Dick
Sunday was a day of leisure and so Big Hof and I set off for Hermanus to see the Whales. May-November is the whale spotting season and that's a fact! We spotted x7 and I tell you what, they're Big so big they were bigger than the boat we were in and the boat could carry 48pax! On the way we called in at Peter Taylors place at Erinvale. Pete told us it was locked up for the winter but Big Hof managed to find a shutter that was loose and I climbed in and passed a couple of beers through the gap in the window. I am sure that's what Pete meant when he said "if ever you are down our way you must pop in for a beer or two!?!"
The coming of the fourth Reicht
Trust me Germany are good. They play with skill, passion and flair and are pure class and I for one won't be subscribing to the playground logic of "well we could beat Argentina 1-0!?!" Bollocks we could! "who said you'll never win anything with kids!?!" these are kids and they are pure class. Trust me the fourth Reicht is coming!! I only hope Football doesn't turn into another Eurovision and we never win it again!?! Fabio should learn his lesson, drop Lampard, Terry, Gerrard now and Rooney should warm his arse on the bench. We should take no comfort from Germany 4-0 Argentina. Anyway back to our holidays, we watched the game in Sapphire, Camps Bay, Capetown with a load of ticket less Argies. It all started in good humour but ended with Boo's and a chorus of he is a fat cheating dwarf from Big Hof and I who were comforted by the German supremacy and surnames of Gerken and Hoffman!
Saturday 3 July 2010
Ghana Drama
The day started OK and on plan. A gentle flight to Capetown, a quick check in to our B&B, a wash under the armpits and into town in a taxi! A pit stop McLaren Mercedes would have been proud of!! We managed to catch the second half of Holland dumping Brazil out and the througher was set fair. More beers and dinner watching Ghana v Uruguay!! Enough beer to sink a battleship and with a full stomach after a wonderful meal on the Waterfront and not bothered to watch the end of extra time we caught a cab!! That's when the Ghana drama started. Our driver was as black as your hat. I am not being racist, it's a statement of fact!! He had the radio on and was engrossed in the game. Not a problem, we thought and so.the driver In an obvious state of high agitation, set off!! Uruguay handle on the line in the last minute of extra time, driver stops to listen to the penalty!Ghana miss! The driver shouts the whole team should be put in jail and sets off like a lunatic. Through the first set of red lights I politely enquire "why the rush!?!" he replied "I want to see the penalties!" not a problem!! Find a bar!! He does!! The. Whole of Africa were in the bar and were trying to suck the penalties in for Ghana. They didn't of course and Ghana were out. Our driver was apoplectic!! He drove like a madman through the streets of Capetown. In completely the wrong direction! We were lost!! But the legendary Gerks' sense of direction with the aid of a floodlit Table mountain and we were home!! The comforting snores of Big Hoff and the build quality of Bose Noise cancelling headphones soon hand me to sleep. What a day!!
Friday 2 July 2010
Masearo Magoro (Pretoria Tour Guide GP3440)
Due to the unfortunate and sad circumstances we found ourselves in Pretoria (or Tschwane as they now call it) with a spare day and nothing to do before flying down to Cape Town. We have managed to change our return flights home by several days so the blog will end early on 8th July.
Anyway not sure what to do with the day ahead of we we headed into town and for the Tourist information centre in Church Square.
Now the blog today is dedicated to the lovely tour guide (name above) and to the the new bus concept that was previously known as Hop On/Hop Off but is now Hop On and Stay On! in fact stay on all day and don't let anybody else on! We were directed to the yellow Hop On/Hop Off bus and it set off with only the two of us on it!! Masearo asked us where we wanted to go (there was nobody else ). We weren't sure but went to the first 2 scheduled stops on the tour at the government buildings and some big monument to the Great Trek. We then said we would like to see a township and that was the start of it!
5 hours later we returned to the tour route having spent that time in a 52 seater with the tour guide and the driver in the Atteridge township. We stopped at a traditional shabeen for a beer (Heineken at 90p a bottle - hardly premium!) and whilst there got food from the stall next door. What they call porridge is certainly not the same as what we do. Mark mostly decided to wait until dinner! Another £6 down but it was lunch for 4.
Then off to see the "informal" settlements - now that is a euphamism. the sight of the 52 seater yellow bus squeezing its way between the tin shacks was a sight the locals were not used to. the kids running along side were dead excited but the glares from the adults clearly registered as 'smug b*@t*$ds, you try living like this!?!" but we felt we had had a true insight into the real South Africa and thanks to Masearo. for making it a day to remember!!
On a personal note to Maearo, we hope your wedding goes well when your fiance eventually has saved up enough money. it's off to Capetown and more of the Gerks and Big Hof go Whale watching tour!!
Anyway not sure what to do with the day ahead of we we headed into town and for the Tourist information centre in Church Square.
Now the blog today is dedicated to the lovely tour guide (name above) and to the the new bus concept that was previously known as Hop On/Hop Off but is now Hop On and Stay On! in fact stay on all day and don't let anybody else on! We were directed to the yellow Hop On/Hop Off bus and it set off with only the two of us on it!! Masearo asked us where we wanted to go (there was nobody else ). We weren't sure but went to the first 2 scheduled stops on the tour at the government buildings and some big monument to the Great Trek. We then said we would like to see a township and that was the start of it!
5 hours later we returned to the tour route having spent that time in a 52 seater with the tour guide and the driver in the Atteridge township. We stopped at a traditional shabeen for a beer (Heineken at 90p a bottle - hardly premium!) and whilst there got food from the stall next door. What they call porridge is certainly not the same as what we do. Mark mostly decided to wait until dinner! Another £6 down but it was lunch for 4.
Then off to see the "informal" settlements - now that is a euphamism. the sight of the 52 seater yellow bus squeezing its way between the tin shacks was a sight the locals were not used to. the kids running along side were dead excited but the glares from the adults clearly registered as 'smug b*@t*$ds, you try living like this!?!" but we felt we had had a true insight into the real South Africa and thanks to Masearo. for making it a day to remember!!
On a personal note to Maearo, we hope your wedding goes well when your fiance eventually has saved up enough money. it's off to Capetown and more of the Gerks and Big Hof go Whale watching tour!!
Thursday 1 July 2010
Big Hoff & Gerks go on Safari
No longerinterested in football we have gone in search of the Big 5 to the Madikwe game reserve in the North West Province. The game reserve is privately owned and the size of Wales. What I want to know is why did the tour guide pick Wales as the example!? She didn't know either someone had just told her!! But it makes sense so why knock it!? We went in search of the Big 5 and ticked off, Lions, Rhinos, Leopard, Elephants and were some what confused when we got back to camp and the guide said we were lucky we managed to see all 5!?! When I said we had only seen four species she explained. The Big 5 are Lion, Leopard, Elephant, white Rhino and Black Rhino! Got it!! We then retired for the day after dinner and a few beers around the campfire.....that's when it got exciting!! Big Hoff's now legendary snoring attracted the interest of two young male Lions!! We weren't sure whether they wanted to eat him, mate with him or get him to lead the pride!?! Out here how load your roar is counts and trust me Big Hoff can roar!!
They lost interest when the guide threw a log on the fire and so we slept easy. Thank goodness for Bose!!
On a personal note we woke to some very sad news regarding my mother who has sadly and suddenly passed away so we cut short our safari and headed back to Pretoria to see if we can get home.
They lost interest when the guide threw a log on the fire and so we slept easy. Thank goodness for Bose!!
On a personal note we woke to some very sad news regarding my mother who has sadly and suddenly passed away so we cut short our safari and headed back to Pretoria to see if we can get home.
Sunday 27 June 2010
Germany 4 - England 1
I'll be able to tell the grand kids...."I was there!?!" I wish I wasn't but I was there!! We were POOR!! And our 2010 World Cup tally is played 4, Shite 4!! I can't quite put my finger on it but if I were to hazard a guess it would be too slow at the back, no mid field and nothing up front!! Still we have had a lovely day. A 5AM start, a 700km drive and a narrow miss when a light aircraft landed on the central reservation, 15km short of Bloemfontein airport!?! No joke!!
Now I am off to investigate if you can change the title of your Blog to 'Big Hoff and Gerks play golf, drink beer and go Whale watching' you can follow this blog at our new site wwww.pissedofandskint.com
Now I am off to investigate if you can change the title of your Blog to 'Big Hoff and Gerks play golf, drink beer and go Whale watching' you can follow this blog at our new site wwww.pissedofandskint.com
Saturday 26 June 2010
The road to Bloemfontein
I am posting this a day early because we have a dawn start and a 6/7 hour drive from Sun City to Bloemfontein to face the Germans. But at least we are going! Sun City seems to be full of England fans with tickets for the Ghana v USA game tonight!?! We even have the Ghana team staying in our hotel!! Oh what could have been!? Still, Big Hoff and I have managed to find accommodation in Bloemfontein!! So we can still partake in the post match party in the fanzone.Afterall, why spoil a winning formulae!?! Come on England!!!
Big Hoff 1 - Gerks 0
Arrived safely in Pretoria, but only just!?! We had a serious comedy moment on the equivalent of the M1 when we had to swerve to avoid a wooden crate the size of a small house in the middle of the road. No matrix warning signs for these boys!!
The tour is starting to take shape. Find digs, dump bags, head for fanzone, two games of footie and a througher, back to digs for a kip!?! That's when you discover your mate snores for England and you regret ever saying the words "don't worry about it mate. All blokes snore!?!" Not like Big Hoff, they don't!! Despite Bose noise cancelling headphones AND earplugs, you can still hear him!! :o(
It's a long trip ahead!!
BIG HOFF 1 - GERKS 0
The tour is starting to take shape. Find digs, dump bags, head for fanzone, two games of footie and a througher, back to digs for a kip!?! That's when you discover your mate snores for England and you regret ever saying the words "don't worry about it mate. All blokes snore!?!" Not like Big Hoff, they don't!! Despite Bose noise cancelling headphones AND earplugs, you can still hear him!! :o(
It's a long trip ahead!!
BIG HOFF 1 - GERKS 0
Thursday 24 June 2010
Heathrow Lounge
Big Hoff here on Mark's ID
Well here we are waiting for the flight SA237 leaves at 2000. We are having a few cool Bulmers to provide some limited protection against 10 hours in economy. We didn't realise planes had a row 65 but apparantly it's true!
Another shock at at the airport - Italy out and Slovakia through! Looks like England are the only big European guns left in.
Our travel agent is working hard to find us a place to lay our heads on Sunday night near Bloemfontein but even if it means driving 5 hours through the night back to Sun City we will be there - 2 World Wars and one World Cup and all that..
Tomorrow is apparantly a day at leisure according to our itinery - wonder what that means?
Well here we are waiting for the flight SA237 leaves at 2000. We are having a few cool Bulmers to provide some limited protection against 10 hours in economy. We didn't realise planes had a row 65 but apparantly it's true!
Another shock at at the airport - Italy out and Slovakia through! Looks like England are the only big European guns left in.
Our travel agent is working hard to find us a place to lay our heads on Sunday night near Bloemfontein but even if it means driving 5 hours through the night back to Sun City we will be there - 2 World Wars and one World Cup and all that..
Tomorrow is apparantly a day at leisure according to our itinery - wonder what that means?
Never in doubt!!
Oh ye of little faith! I always knew we would do it and at this rate we can go on and win the world cup with only scoring 6 goals (total!) But it is riveting stuff rolled up with a cardiovascular workout!!
So it's off to Bloemfontein a head to head with the German's and more training for the old 'ticker'......penalties are on the cards. Our defence is too strong for a goal fest but who knows we might just knick a second and save us the angst.
Big Hof has already organised changes to our travel plans and the bathers are in the bag for Durban but here's the rub Bloemfontein is a dry state on Sunday's! :o( How can anyman blow a Vuvuzula with a dry whistle!?!
That's me off to Heathrow and SAA0237 to Joburg.
Come on England!!
So it's off to Bloemfontein a head to head with the German's and more training for the old 'ticker'......penalties are on the cards. Our defence is too strong for a goal fest but who knows we might just knick a second and save us the angst.
Big Hof has already organised changes to our travel plans and the bathers are in the bag for Durban but here's the rub Bloemfontein is a dry state on Sunday's! :o( How can anyman blow a Vuvuzula with a dry whistle!?!
That's me off to Heathrow and SAA0237 to Joburg.
Come on England!!
Wednesday 23 June 2010
England expects...............
AM Wednesday 23rd 2010 and I am almost tempted to write something Churchillian or from Lord Nelson but we ALL already know.........England expects everyman to do his duty!! I only hope messers Rooney, Gerrard, Lampard & Terry attended history lessons when they weren't 'wagging' school!?! So far we have seen no evidence to suggest they have a patriotic bone in their body!?! But that is history for you - it's all in the past!! Today is another day. Today is the big one!! We must WIN!! and we must win convincingly!! The consequences of not winning are unbearable. We will be compared with France for goodness sake! But there are even bigger more complex issues at stake.
Don't qualify and BigHof and I are off to South Africa on holiday!! What's wrong about that you ask. Well try going somewhere so cold you need ski gear but can't ski or somewhere so wet it rains all the time. Call that a holiday.
Then there's what to pack. Top and we are in the cold but at least we have paid for our accomodation. Second and it's Durban and the sunshine but then we need to pay (AGAIN!!)
Come on ENGLAND - YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU!!!
Don't qualify and BigHof and I are off to South Africa on holiday!! What's wrong about that you ask. Well try going somewhere so cold you need ski gear but can't ski or somewhere so wet it rains all the time. Call that a holiday.
Then there's what to pack. Top and we are in the cold but at least we have paid for our accomodation. Second and it's Durban and the sunshine but then we need to pay (AGAIN!!)
Come on ENGLAND - YOUR COUNTRY NEEDS YOU!!!
Friday 18 June 2010
England 0 - Algeria 0
I can't believe it either!! Clearly the boy's aren't bothered it's Fabio's birthday!? They seem to be more worried about getting a career threatening injury and missing the start of the Premiership than getting stuck in and beating a bunch of part timers.
We can't tackle, we can't pass and we can't score!?! A part from that we were class!! I think we can still win it!?! So I am off to South Africa! Afterall that's where you go to see a Lion in the wild, a Whale in sea and a Elephant fly!?!
To see England win the World Cup is a lot cheaper. It's £9.99, it's on DVD and it's all our yesterday's!?!
Happy birthday Fabio!!
Gutted.
We can't tackle, we can't pass and we can't score!?! A part from that we were class!! I think we can still win it!?! So I am off to South Africa! Afterall that's where you go to see a Lion in the wild, a Whale in sea and a Elephant fly!?!
To see England win the World Cup is a lot cheaper. It's £9.99, it's on DVD and it's all our yesterday's!?!
Happy birthday Fabio!!
Gutted.
Happy Birthday Fabio!
Friday 18th June: It's Fabio Capello's 64th birthday and the Nation is hoping his 'boys' can give him a day to remember. No scrapping through today,boys. A clean sheet, a Rooney hat trick supported with a confidence building 'brace' from Heskey will do nicely and give 'Fab' a day to remember.
It will also send a statement to the world 'We are here to win it!!'
Against USA........................
Heskey may rhyme donkey but one missed open goal doesn't make him an Ass!?
and Rooney running around like a looney was over excitement and short of his usual class!
Come on England!!!
Your country needs you!!
I'm off to the pub...................
It will also send a statement to the world 'We are here to win it!!'
Against USA........................
Heskey may rhyme donkey but one missed open goal doesn't make him an Ass!?
and Rooney running around like a looney was over excitement and short of his usual class!
Come on England!!!
Your country needs you!!
I'm off to the pub...................
Wednesday 16 June 2010
England 1 USA 1
Doh! When Big Hoff and I first discussed World Cup 2010 we agreed "it had to be done!".Following Rob Green's antics I am more inclined to think "what have I done?!" Still we are weighed in so we are off to South Africa next Thursday, after the group stage.
Now here's the rub!
What to pack?? We have planned and paid for England winning the group!? If we finish second it's flip flops and swimwear coz we are off to Durban!! Top and it's the ski gear!?! Decisions, decisions. All that for another day. It is England v Algeira tomorrow and we need a hat full!! Come on England!!
Now here's the rub!
What to pack?? We have planned and paid for England winning the group!? If we finish second it's flip flops and swimwear coz we are off to Durban!! Top and it's the ski gear!?! Decisions, decisions. All that for another day. It is England v Algeira tomorrow and we need a hat full!! Come on England!!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)